June 10, 2009

My Heart, Idolatry, Sin, and Loving Jesus

Something that I suffered from, and always have, is a near constant and overwhelming fear about nearly anything and everything.  So much so that I have seriously considered applying for disability, just because this fear drives me to the point where I can barely function as an individual.  However, there is something that am starting to realize.  First, fear is a sin.  It indicates a lack trust in Christ as the all sovereign king of all creation.  Secondly, like all sin, this really boils down to a matter of idolatry.  Elevating my comfort as my supreme desire and, thus, robbing Christ of the glory he is due.  This sin has run its course long enough.  It has led to me sinning other areas as well: not providing for my family because I am too afraid to face an employer on a daily basis, which makes me worse than an unbeliever; and, probably most devastating, I don’t share the gospel as I ought because I am afraid of not doing something right.  There are numerous other things that I could mention, but you get the picture.  This is my prayer: “God, do a fresh work of grace in my heart.  Help me to love Jesus more than my comfort.  Lord, give me good, Godly, men in my life that will come along beside me a push me, hold me accountable, and help me to see and seek you when I can’t on my own.  And, God, thank you for those few individuals, that are already in my life and doing this.”

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