Here I am, the second day of Super Summer, and the depression is already setting in. I want to be here. I want to spend this time to draw nearer to God. However, except for when I am alone in the semi-quiet of my room, most everything about Super Summer either annoys or frustrates me. Engage is mostly Lyle running his mouth about stuff. The worship music, while claiming to want us to be focusing on God, is being performed in such a way that you can't help but focus on the band. The preaching is passionate, but incredibly anthropocentric. Last night, there was not a single scripture mentioned until the very end, as though it was only there to back-up what Matt said.
I see all of this and I can see the passion and the love for God that is there behind it all, but I just can't help but think that it's being done the wrong way. I hope that I am not being prideful or arrogant with this. I am not saying that I have the answers as to how it should be done. I just think that, at the heart of things, the focus is in the wrong place. The focus shouldn't be on the students and their needs. The focus should be on God and the proclamation of His Word.
I hope Day 2 is better. I know that God can even use this make me into who He wants me and to prepare me for what He wants me to do. I pray that He would give me relief from my depression, relief from my annoyance and frustration, and help me to see Him in all of this.